Saturday, 28 September 2013

Hoodrat 'Served'

Not a lot to do with hunting or bushcraft, but an amusing incident

I was standing in the street waiting for a cab, dressed in building site clothes, with a large coil of pipe, a fold-up ladder and a HOOJ toolbox.
A teenage chav with a particularly annoying bum-fluff beard and horrid ball-cap is eyeing me up suspiciously.

Hoodrat: Officer, officer what's your badge number?

I ignore him

Hoodrat: Ay Federale, what you watching me for?

After a while he's joined by two of his little chums, they cross the road and one of them comes up to me

2nd Hoodrat  [pointing at my pile of tools]" these two reckon you're undercover, but I'm not thinkin' that, how would you chase anyone with all-a-diss?

SBW [pointing to stomach] Or with this?

Hoodrat's 2: laughs

Hoodrat: He is he's undercover init!

SBW: [to 2nd hoodrat] If I'm undercover your mate's a real gangster

Hoodrat's 2 and 3 crack up laughing

Hoodrat: Yeah you're funny

2nd Hoodrat: ' Nah blood, face it, you've been served

Hoodrat's 2 and 3 crack up laughing

There SBW 'down with the kids' who'da thunk it?

More soon


Anonymous said...

Is that how east end plumbers get around these days by black cab?

I suppose you just stick the cab fares on the bill and bump up the VAT. Win-win.

The Suburban Bushwacker said...


Not black cabs they're way too spendy, but the cheap cabs of hackney, well it works out very favorably

Exploriment said...

HOOJ? As in the classic house label Hooj Choons? You converted a record bag into a tool bag. You crafty hipster you.

I spent several years living in the town where my provinces police college was. I would always see people in shops trying to figure me out. Big guy, looks serious, black boots, short hair....hmmmhhhh....but he has ear rings. "Soooo.....are you the college?"

Bwahahahaha!!! If they only knew.

The Suburban Bushwacker said...

I've long been involved in a campaign to change the spelling to the far more onomatopoeic HOOJ and yes the first citation is from Ghocki's Chewnz circa '95

Anonymous said...

"HOOJ toolbox"

I first thought you might be referring to the package tucked into your skivvies. Then I thought Nah, no way man!LOL.

Phillip said...

You are far too hip, SBW. I'd have never thunk it.

The Suburban Bushwacker said...


Age and guile will beat youth and a bad haircut anytime,